Family Milestones: Reflections and 5th Wedding Anniversary

This blog is written to honor my husband, Jake as we celebrate our 5th wedding anniversary. As I reflect on the many wonderful blessings I received one of these, was my marriage to my husband. 

Yes, our marriage is not perfect, obviously we are two different people with lots of differences. But, God being the center of our relationship makes those differences work together, perfectly well. 

Truthfully, I can say that I am not near anywhere I am now in terms of maturity or understanding my calling if its not with my supportive husband. 

Wonderful lessons I am learning so far in marriage; 

1. Differences makes marriage exciting. My husband and I works in the same industry doing the same thing. People would often ask how is it working for us and honestly I can say that we normally shy away discussing our corporate life experience when we are at home. It’s boring and it does not excite us at all, besides we are competitors. 

Other than that, I wish that my husband would share my love for reading or journalling instead of him watching “Jason Bourne” sequels repeatedly but he won’t. And that makes it all exciting. Obviously for the fact that at least we have something different to talk about. 

Like those movies he watches sparks interest in me to sit down and listen to him as he narrates his amazement on the characters. It does excite me to know that there our differences make us more interesting to each other, there are still so many things to share and learn from each other. 

2. Differences don’t really matter. I know many would not agree with me, but at least in our marriage we experienced that when Jake and I disagrees with some things we still find ways to agree on our disagreements. 

We often see and figure things differently but we are always in agreement that if it would benefit our relationship, the people around us, our family and our child – doesn’t matter whose idea won, we will still support and help each other. We learned to accept and respect each other.
3. Our differences makes us value each other more. In some terms they say learn to “compromise”. Our marriage has lots of those and we respect each other’s individual goals and dreams. And though we are one in the sight of God and of men, we understand that we are still our own unique person. 

We have different ways of expressing ourselves towards each other, we have different ways of tackling things, different ways of solving problems and many more. Believe it or not, we are always learning from each other. 

One example is my husbands passion for fitness, this is not something I would write in my journal of priorities. But as I learn from my husband, I learned than more than the asthetics the end results would benefit our family too, making us live stronger and better, far from sickness and learning how to be good stewards of God’s temple (our body). Later on, I joined him in his fitness journey and it’s giving me more benefits than I could ever imagined. 
I am really grateful that today God has given us a day to ponder and reflect on the many benefits of being together. Relationships make life more meaningful. 

God gave me the best partner I could ever have. We maybe different in many things, what we bring in to our table are all different expectations and insecurities but Jesus is our perfector and He makes us one. We are not different in our faith. One thing that we have in common, Jake and I love Jesus and that changes us, making us a perfect fit for each other.

Which is why I am so thankful that for 5 years of marriage knowing that we are two different people, by God’s grace we walked through life circumstances as One. 

We’ve been through lack, blessings, death, sickness, healing, unemployment, debts, giving birth, celebrations, loss and many more – our faith in Jesus keeps us together despite of our differences. This is our hope and confidence for 5 years and we look forward to more years here on earth or until we meet Jesus in heaven. 
We will grow (old) together! Yay! For more years and beyond! 🥂

Stay at Home Mom Adventures: Week 2

Days are passing swiftly and now we approached week 2 of our family transitions. Having a toodler around is a sweet responsibility and it’s something that my husband and I take seriously. 

I therefore conclude that being “parents” is not only a responsibility but a “higher calling” that we must learn. If we wanted to be intentional in guiding our child to walk in the ways of the Lord, we have to make sure that we instruct only according to God’s ways. Forget all those child development fads and really dig deeper into the biblical ways, God’s methods. 

Wiping a runny nose, answering countless questions, exchanging your favorite series to peppa pig, singing animals and vegetables are just the tip of the iceberg. I learned that there is so much more that my husband and I must learn in order for us to nurture God’s precious daughter into becoming a woman God designed her to be. And we have to be faithful stewards of this precious gift, because God called us to it. 

REALITY SPEAKS

This season of our lives is something that we always have look forward to. Being away for a year from our child, to seek better future has given a little toll on us and it’s something that we have to catch up. That is why I was seeking for tips, advises and guidance from those moms who were ahead of us. Those I think can guide me. But I realized that there is no “one” formula to it. Children are created differently and so we dare not compare who does parenting well. It’s okay to listen to the advises but we have to also filter because I realized the one who knows our child more than we do, is the One who created her.

So in our pursuit of ways to discipline our child – we found that God in His wisdom has a lot to say on how to take care of our sweetpea. God made us realized that being a parent is more than just being a maid, cook, playmate etc.. it is about molding character, training, guiding and nurturing. And what better way to do this, but to go through God’s ways. Understanding the biblical disciplines of parenting and to faithfully instruct our child in the ways of the Lord. 

The bible says; 

“Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.” Ephesians ‭6:4‬ ‭ESV‬

All the while I have passed through this verse I thought that it was a reminder to fathers of not provoking their children but the chunk of meat is found on the second part, which I think is a challenge. I know that it’s not going to be an easy task, but realizing the treasures and the gifts of being called a parent is already a blessing. 

SITUATION 

No one told my daughter how to ignore us, but she does. I thought at first it’s because she was doing some interesting things, but later I found that my 3 year old daughter deliberately pretends not to hear us when we call her. Why? She just wants to or maybe no one told her that it is not good to ignore people. 

My initial reaction was to get into her way and ask her why she pretends of not hearing me? (Well, I got too emotional when I discovered it so I wanted to address it right away) 

But, God dealt with my heart, first. He made me think of those times when we His children does the same even on our grown up age to pretend of not hearing Him when He calls out our name. And we do it over and over again. What a shame! 

So I felt humbled, I realized that in order for us, forme specially, to become a good mother, I myself should tackle my heart intent and let God sort this for me. Frankly, it is always easy for us to tell our kids what they have done wrong, but it would take a lot of prayers, discipline, understanding on our part to INSTRUCT our children according to God’s word. The problem is, if we dont spend time with God, we get overwhelmed and our instructions may come from different sources causing different results. 

So I got on my knees and pray. Seek wisdom on how am I going to become that mother who reaches the heart of her child. Besides, I dont want my baby to grow up pretending or to be someone she dont want to be. I wanted her to walk in the ways God called her to be, I wanted her to respect authorities, to recognize the beauty of obedience and rise up as a woman after God’s own heart. So when she grows up, when she is on her own, capable to think on her own, she won’t let go of these principles. 

Of course, I won’t expect my 3 year old to be like that tomorrow, it would definitely take time. It will take time. My calling is to respond in passion and ownership because I am sure that the rewards are far greater than I could ever imagine. It is my calling, my priority and my struggle and my goal. So I will rise to this occasion and accept motherhood with humbleness. I will love, train, guide and nurture my child in the way God has called me to do. 
I would gladly exchange my favorite tv shows just to check if the things she’s watching is helping her or not. I would gladly listen to her stories over and over again until she learn to speak in wisdom. To watch her ways over and over again, to guide her to the path until she reaches her destination, to where God has called her to be. 

CONCLUSION 

This week gave us valuable lessons. Yes, it is not easy to become a parent – but be encouraged because this means that we will witness God’s wisdom unfolding as we train and guide our kids, manage our homes and nurture our families.
And God’s grace our children in the future will arise and call us, blessed! 

Stay At Home Mom Adventures: Week 1

I was really looking forward to this new season of my life where I can finally do what I want to do at my own phase, without targets and without a boss to please – because now, I am officially a homemaker. Yes, I quit from my job, left the corporate world, because I have embraced my calling. 

I can be the best mom and wife, I ever wanted to be! 

Fast forward to week 1 and it started to kick in that mom life is not as easy as I expected it to be. 

Like today, I was up at 530 to make sure that I can catch up to the needs of this day. Then there’s cooking of breakfast, pack lunches, lunch menu and dinner and so on. Then theres, the wake up time for Jael (my daughter) and clean up time and playtime. 

Let me stop from here, because the list really can go on and on. Clearly there is no stopping to what my day would be like from now on. And as I write this, it’s only 2pm (my daugther is taking her nap, I just took a quick break to write something on my blog, just to update) 

By the way, I am a newbie to this FTHM (full time home maker) title and I still have a very long journey to walk on. Frankly,  its only a week that passed and I already cut on my normal “me-time routine” my bible study, journalling and exercise. 
For sure, it is quite overwhelming and to be honest there is just so many things to do. I am literally busy as of yet and those things that I mentioned I wanted to keep up maybe can wait a little while,cos I have people that I have to take care of! 

Hopefully, I would have the luxury of time to do those, when I get a hang of this mom life routines. 

DEEP INSIDE MY HEART 

I know, there may be a way to do this “mom-life” intentionally and systematically. Because I believe that if I let go of those important things that I love to so for myself, the mommy life role would definitely overwhelm me. For sure, I would not be able to play the role for very long. I must find a way to make this work. 

GOD ANSWERS

This morning, while my totty is still sleeping and my husband is in the shower, prepping, I grabbed my bible and just read a short passage in Ephesians. Viola! God’s word is really powerful, that it reminded me so much of how important it is for us women/moms/wives to be rooted and grounded in love and to be intentional. Because God, our heavenly Father, He as our parent would want us to enjoy life, His blessings in abundance and be inspired by His grace and not be dragged down with daily chores and tasks of each day. 

“For this reason I bow my knees before the Father, from whom every family in heaven and on earth is named, that according to the riches of his glory he may grant you to be strengthened with power through his Spirit in your inner being, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith—that you, being rooted and grounded in love, may have strength to comprehend with all the saints what is the breadth and length and height and depth, and to know the love of Christ that surpasses knowledge, that you may be filled with all the fullness of God.” 

Ephesians‬ ‭3:14-19‬ ‭ESV‬‬
***
It gave me chills, to know that God cares. Those words were so comforting and reassuring, exactly what I needed to hear to be all pumped up so I can start my day right. 

Thankful, that He is a good Father and He sees my heart right through and He would not let me drop those things that are important for me. He wanted me to learn from him, reminded to be rooted and grounded in love that I may have strength to comprehend what God wants me to achieve. It’s not just about living life, serving husbands and children but doing it excellently, with a purpose. 

REALIZATION

Honestly, what is 15minutes of reading God’s word and receiving from Him? Very short pep talk to hear instructuon directly from God. Specially now that I am in need to hear from Him more and more because I badly need someone that can guide me in raising up my daughter and serving my husband with the best of my ability to bring glory to His name. Giving me the proper steps how to do it according to His ways. What better way to receive it than from God’s word directly. 

And just today, the reason why I can write a blog this long, is because God gave me snippets of instructions through friends, through reading some moms online giving tips on how to manage time wisely for me and the entire family. Goody, it worked! And now I just need to practice and practice and be consistent. 

I am confident that I would learn more along this journey and I am thrilled to understand more about parenting and home making. To do things the excellent way not out of compulsion or obligation, but deeply rooted and grounded in love. 

Life is exciting the way I see it. And I have dreams of what my daughter would become and how my family would be. I just need to abide and be teachable each time, for God’s abundant love is covering me. This is our story, our victory and with God by my side who can be against me? 

Next time, I would like to share some of the new things I learn. Hopefully can inspire some new moms, striving to be the best that they can. There is hope! There is more to life because with Jesus there is always a better future, there is a beautiful purpose! 

Love lots, 

Marra 

The Mishaps Of The First Time Mother : Story Of My Life

They say that there are no perfect parents, but, we can be excellent in this divine role that we are called to do. If you are called to be a parent, a mom or a dad – you can be excellent at it! There’s hope! 

In intro, our family does not have a perfect family set-up, our work overseas gave us a momentary distance with our little one for almost a year. We have our financial priorities to settle and the only way to earn more in a shorter period of time is to go abroad. Not only the pay is high, but opportunities are a lot. So my husband and I decided to work overseas and leave our childcare to my mom in law. (Some may not understand this situation but it’s something that most of our countrymen do, due to lack of opportunities)

Now, here is the fun part… after a year of tears, patience, hardwork, prayer, sheer determination, blood, sweat & by God’s grace we reached our goal. It’s time to go back home, for good. Fast forward to the present situation, my work as a financial consultant in the corporate world has FINALLY ended and I am now venturing to a full-time housewife role. (Some of my friends cringe when they hear this, but I am excited – because I know God called me to this) 

After months of prayers and interceeding and seeking God’s answers, we finally made it through this wonderful decision. My husband and I thought that this is what God wants us to do and for myself, I am sure of my calling this time – to become a mom/homemaker/housewife. After all, God is entrusting me with huge opportunities of not only taking care of his son (my husband), our home affairs but most important, the future of the next generation (through my daughter). 

CATCH THE STORY

Oh joy, glad that finally we are reunited together after a year. My baby, my husband and myself, just us, no helper, no parents – just us. 
And migrating process demands lots of errands, which is obviously part of our transitions – it does requires us to travel for a moment and since we worked overseas for a decade we still have some paperworks to accomplish. That’s why we still need to stay for 2 more months overseas (in the country we are residing in) but good news, this time we got to do all these with our baby – as a family. 

So we got on to our plane, all set. Checklist are all okay, checked in our luggages and finally settled on to our seats. And to cut the long story short, we reached our destination easy-peasy. We landed safely  and when it’s time to head on to the immigration, suddenly, my 3 year old toodler decided to poop. Oh yes, it was that awful smelling boombastic poop that I need to attend to, ASAP! (There is no explaining here, my baby needs to go, quickly)

So right after immigration, we went straight to the toilet and baam! When I checked our bags – its incomplete…Ive got no wet wipes, no extra baby clothes, all I have is one diaper, yes… just one spare diaper. So I have to relax and think breathe in and breathe out, there must be a way to this… 

So, I have to be creative this time, I must find ways to clean up my little princess. So I went inside the cubicle and reality kicks in,  I think I need more than tissues, so I tried to clean as much as I can but that stinking smell is still there. Grabbed my  water bottle inside that carry-on bag so I used it to wash my baby. And by the way there was no baby room available for us, so I have to do it inside that cubicle – good thing it’s clean and tidy. As for the clothes, Ive got my smallest pair of shirt on my other bag that looked like a dress to my baby, so it’s okay. It was a memorable experience. 

LESSONS

Aside from the very obvious lesson which is to keep everything in check and always bring extras of everything… Ive got tons of lessons that I took away from that experience.

• When life gives you lemons, make a lemonade

I realized, that there are no abc’s to motherhood, well maybe not for all. We all learn from our mistakes and there are no perfect mothers. Learn from experience and be ready when situation calls us to think on our feet, make a solution. When it comes to our little ones, we got to be creative, finding ways and resourceful, its not the time to whine and cry – this is about them. Situations can vary, but we have to be on our toes thinking and resolving. 

• Accept your mistakes, forgive yourself and improve, be better

Mistakes and failures are tools for learnings. Sometimes even as we read books or listen to other’s experiences we still forget but the moment we experience it ourselves, how is it like to forget a simple “wet-wipe” to put inside your bag – what will happen and etc… you’ll learn. So next time, before leaving home, check and recheck, do some checklist separated for the needs of your child. Do a system that works best for you. Doesn’t have to perfect just a practical system that is workable for you, for your husband most importantly for your child. 

• Be humble and continue learning

First time mothers like me, tend to be excited to do all things, all the time specially concerning the affairs of our baby. We all want to be hands-on.  
And because we are moms, we always hear that “mothers knows best” we sometimes pretend that we know best – but admit it or not we don’t know everything. There are so many things to learn. Thus, require us to continue learning from people we know best, our very own mothers, the other moms who has more experience than us and of course looking up to the only perfect parent, God. 
We can’t absorb motherhood in one sitting, it may take a while to learn all, but if we are willing, we can be excellent in this calling. Open your heart and learn, don’t stop and practice it all the time. 

CONCLUSIONS

Be encouraged moms and dads. Although, we sometimes fail with our planning and etc, it’s okay. Here is our comfort: 

Lamentations 3:22–23

The steadfast love of the LORD never ceases;
His mercies never come to an end;
They are new every morning;
Great is your faithfulness.

We always have our hope and our greatest comfort is knowing that although we are inadequate, we may sometimes miss the mark – God, our heavenly Father will always fill our cups and He will teach us, He will guide us on our way in fulfilling our highest calling, to disciple our children, to become excellent in our purpose and to nurturing the next generation. 
So Moms, don’t stop, you’ll get there!