Confessions Of a Newbie Momma, Encouragement and Reflections

Confessions Of a Newbie Momma, Encouragement and Reflections

Confessions

I have always looked forward to this season of my life, where I can give my 100% best to take care of my child. To lead her closer to God so she can walk to the destiny God has designed for her. I have too many thoughts and plans on how am I going to do this and that. And as I finally dive into my full-bloom motherhood, the more I understand that it is not easy. 

My ideals and ideas of how am I going to execute things in my mind are not as easy as I have ever imagined. Being a full-time stay-at-home-momma to a toddler is harder than sitting in my office desk working from 8-5, it’s tougher than memorizing songs and lyrics for worship leading on a Sunday service and it’s way more challenging than dealing with people you speak with, on a weekend bible study group or presentations to a prospective clients. All those that I do before has no match to my super-amazing-hyperactive-little-fireball. 

This mommahood is a serious deal! 

Do I feel the pressure? Do I feel inadequate? 

Not all the time, but there are times I would say that, Yes, I do. Sometimes I sit down in a corner thinking to myself, “what happened to my momma goals?”. I thought that it’s going to be easy-peasy, I can easily manage my daughter and whatever I say, she would follow. Like when she was still a tiny-little baby, the world is just too lovely. I can sit down near her crib while I sip on my coffee watching her angelic face sleeping quietly. I can do that all day. What happened to my super quiet and behave baby girl? Don’t get me wrong, I am enjoying every second of time with my daughter and all her milestones, but, there are just times (specially now that she’s a toddler) that I wanted (figuratively) to walk out when she starts diving on the floor and showing the best tantrum and throwing the best fit she can in the middle of a shopping spree. (toddler-life) My-oh-my! 

Encouragement

But I am encouraged that despite of that reality in my hand – my God is Supreme and He guides me one step at a time. He continually gives wisdom and pours out enough grace so I can stand confidently with this wonderful calling He gave me. Reason why these verses are all written in the bible; 

… I came that they may have and enjoy life, and have it in abundance (to the full, till it overflows). John 10: 10

And these things we write to you that your joy may be full. 1 John 1: 4 NKJV

“He gives the barren woman a home, making her the joyous mother of children. Praise the Lord!”‭‭Psalms‬ ‭113:9‬ ‭

Clearly our Father wanted us to enjoy life at it’s fullest, the very main reason Jesus died to give us all these. What a great treasure it is to be called a “mother” and even if it comes with lots of home chores, worry or frustration – it is still a wonderful calling, a pleasure to every woman. 

And the good news is, I don’t have to feel perfect or be perfect because the truth is, in my weakness Jesus is there. He fills all that I lack and He just comes to pour out grace to just keep me going. No matter how overwhelming mommahood can be. 

Here’s the best part, yaaas, I maybe missing some of my old routines like being complimented for how good my singing voice sounds (** modesty aside), or how well do I keep up with my sales, how fast can I close a deal or how creative I was as a person, etc. None of that matters anymore, none of that compares to the joy I now have, when my little fireball smiles at me and calls me “nanay” as if I am the only important person in her world just to play with her. Or when she invites me to dance with her over and over again and the unlimited hugs I received all throughout the day, the uncounted cuddles, the thousand kisses – are far more greater than anything else. 

Reflections 

This mommahood journey teaches me one greatest lesson I think most mommas would agree, learning to be “selfless”. It’s no longer about you or what you want or your ideals, It is now about this one little person who looks up to you, wanting to receive from you as you pour out your genuine love, care and understanding. What a relief to know that our children are genuine lovers, they would not reject the love we give no matter how insecure we may feel. Generally speaking, to our children, we are the “only” best person that they’ve got and they would love us no matter how imperfect we are.

So I say to myself, cheer up momma… you may not be as slimmer as you were, you may have missed some compliments and outdoor funs with friends and you may have overflowing junk drawers that needs to be tackled, gardening failures that needs to be redeemed and occasional outburst of impatience and disappointments – as long as You have God and you trust Him, He will help you do it. God will help you succeed as a momma and fulfill all His plans through you, not because you are perfect but because God is. 

Stay humble and lean unto God – He is able to finish the work He has began in You. Enjoy each day of growth, each day of learning, each day of maturity. Live a thankful life filled with songs of praise and gratefulness, because with God on our side, our journey is all but progressive. 

God loves you unconditionally, even if you are not ideal! 🙂 

WOMENS DAY: CONFIDENCE & RELIANCE

WOMENS DAY: CONFIDENCE & RELIANCE

Greetings to all the wonderful women God created! Happy womens day to all! 

Read; Luke 22:32, Psalms 125:1-2


“but I have prayed for you that your faith may not fail. And when you have turned again, strengthen your brothers.”” ‭‭Luke‬ ‭22:32‬ ‭ESV‬‬


“Those who trust in the Lord are like Mount Zion, which cannot be moved, but abides forever. As the mountains surround Jerusalem, so the Lord surrounds his people, from this time forth and forevermore.” ‭‭Psalms‬ ‭125:1-2‬ ‭


REFLECT

 
Oftentimes we forget how vulnerable people we are. When we face trials or testing, often we see ourselves figuring out the solutions to solve our problems, one which we sometimes have a hard time with. We stress ourselves, become worry-freaks thinking that we all can solve our problems and that solutions always relies in our heads. Truth of the matter is, most of the time we cannot do things on our own. Not all problems that we have, we can solve ourselves. 

Women in general, has list of uncounted things to tackle daily. We get stressed with sometimes the minor stuffs and often we realise that we may the bigger ones. It all sratrts with the grocery items, the household chores, the meetings with friends, the expenses and budgets, the menu for the day and etc. The list goes on, sometimes we can get caught up with the minor things then eventually becomes bigger and uneasy to handle. Then we stress and we stress some more. 

I also realised that women tend to have ideals and perceptions about certain things that can sometimes be unrealistic in nature. We have set plans and goals we want to achieve and when hiccups comes up, we rattle. Often I meet women who planned too well, that even the un-imaginable sort of lapses that may happen, has been sorted already. Women have this sense of futuristic thinking and we often live in our little “perfect world” ideals – but I believe that life in general isn’t all about that.

The result of this phenomenon, I guess,  is we become too self-reliant, we portray an image that we are more stronger than ever, we become people that can always sort things out, but the caveat is that we are limited people. We cannot solve all problems, we cannot be there at all times, we cannot find ways all the time, we can be tired sometimes and we all need help. 
***

We must all learn from Jesus, during His journey on earth as a human, he was not afraid to show his susceptibility to human sympathy & support, which sends a direct message that it is really okay to want and accept help. This is what He calls, “humility”. 

That attitude of reliance to the one you know who could better help you and admitting to yourself that you need it. Not being too proud or too simple to do things on your own even when you can’t, in settling matters on your own even if you know you cant do it. 

King Solomon writes that a wise man must desire more learning in order to be wiser. 

Children of God, must follow Jesus ways. There are so many life stresses and problems that we cannot solve on our own. We needed sympathy, encouragement and support from the only One who knows better. Before anyone else, we need to be confident and reliant to the wisdom of God’s instructions in our lives. 
As David writes in the book of Psalms, 

Those who trust in the Lord are like Mount Zion, which cannot be moved, but abides forever. As the mountains surround Jerusalem, so the Lord surrounds his people, from this time forth and forever  ‭‭

Psalms‬ ‭125:1-2‬ ‭

Our Father, the Lord of heavens and the earth, surrounds his people like a mountain. It abides and does not move, it sees all things, know all things – and He is just there always ready for support. He does not leave, if we are aware, we have a full grasp of His huge presence in our lives. 

***

So to all the sisters, mothers, wives and daugthers, happy womens day! Remember that God is in control and He loves you. Remember that it’s okay to ask help if you can’t, you will still be a superwoman – no matter what! 

Serve our Community: Thoughts and Lessons

Serve our Community: Thoughts and Lessons

The “Serving our community” outreach project of our church brings too much refreshment to me, everytime, personally. More than an obligation or task, it blesses me more. This outreach helped me realized and confirmed that God cares for his children continously, no matter how young or old they get. Whether we are physically complete or broken, rich or poor – it doesn’t matter, God loves us all the same. God cares for us all the same. 

The uncles and aunties in one of the old folks home that we are reaching out brought so much reminder of why God gave his life for us. The very reason why He came to save us – truth is, we are all broken, abandoned, lost and weak – we all need a Saviour who can save us all from this fallen world. 

Over the past weeks and months that I have been helping, it became no longer a christian duty – but more of an encouragement to share God’s love more and make people know the goodness of being in God’s family. 

My task is not difficult though,  I just have lead songs of worship during the chapel services before the pastor shares God’s word. And though the uncles and the aunties may or may not understand or respond to the songs we are singing, I felt like I am declaring God’s word over their lives through hymns of songs. 

Google images

And the Lord never fails to amaze me eveytime, even more, on how He works into the lives of each individual in that room. I always witnessed with my eyes that some of the aunties or uncles, despite the difficulty of them raising their hands – they would try. Despite the fact that they could no longer speak, they hum the tunes. I would see tears fall from their eyes as they touch their hearts. Isnt that amazing? 

It is not that ordinary sunday platform that you can lead people who are so ready to dance and shout, or to clap and sing with the songs of worship with you. It’s a night and day difference,  The Old Folks Chapel is a quiet room where all the wheelchaired uncles and aunties are sitting in front of you, looking at you as you sing alone add to that the languange barrier. They may scold you at times, if your guitarist got to play too loud and frown at you, if you have been singing too long. 

But, this place taught me so much more. Out of the confinements of my “christian comfort zone”, here is the real deal. This is the heart if Jesus. Sharing a piece of heaven to those who need it most. Even if they don’t respond, even if there is no crowd, or band – it’s like being a small lit of light to a dimming world of our elderlies. I may not understand the situation of how is it like to be old and sick but one thing I know, God loves us whoever, wherever and wherever we are. 

And everytime I volunteer to sing in front of them, I can really sense the love of God hovering in that place each time. It’s tender, gentle and comforting presence that envelopes the whole room, everytime. Making me cry with so much gratefulness because I recognize that kind of presence, it is God’s presence – Abba Father. When He walks in the room, You know that He is doing something internally, spiritually and emotionally. It’s soul-changing. 

God loves us all the same. We need that kind of love resonating to everyone that we see. I remember a quote from John Maxwell when he said; 

“People dont care how much you know until you care”

True isn’t it? 

LESSONS

When our eyes are all focused on what we need, what we want and everything that concerns only about “us” – we easily forget the importance of living. We live for a greater purpose and not only to strive in this life – and we lose that idea of purpose when we care less about our surroundings and about others. 

Our attitudes becomes rough and tough when we dont care. That’s why Jesus during his life on earth, He did not stopped in one place – he walk town to town to reach out. Because He knew that there is just one massive number of people who needs help. 

Keep inspiring! 

Hacksaw Ridge: Extraordinary Lessons from a not so ordinary war movie

Hacksaw Ridge: Extraordinary Lessons from a not so ordinary war movie

Hacksaw Ridge aired last year in other countries but shown in Singapore, only last month. This movie tells an extraordinary “true” story of an American combat medic, Desmond Doss. He saved 75 wounded soldiers during the World War II in Okinawa, Japan, without holding a weapon. His faith and valour are all his weapon to survive the frontline battle, together with the other men, he also fought in the front lines without a firearm or guns by tending to the other soldiers, he was there to perform his duty as a medic and be in aide for the wounded soldiers. He evacuated the wounded from behind the enemy lines, even when all others have left the Hacksaw, he alone stayed and saved as many soldiers as he could, risked his life and bravely faced the dangers of getting killed. His prayer “Lord, please help me save one more” became his motivation and purpose. 

Doss became the first and only conscientious objector to receive the Medal of Honor for actions above and beyond the call of duty during the war. But the road to this distinction was not easy, he faced army court trials, was bullied and judged as ” Desmond the coward” for holding on tightly to his faith in God, his discretions and belief. 

Here are 3 lessons I learned from the true-story movie Hacksaw Ridge. 

1. Learn your purpose. After watching this movie, I am convinced that if one man knows exactly his real, unique purpose in life – everything he does becomes intentional. It doesn’t matter if you don’t get a popular vote or nobody wants to believe your beliefs, as long as you are walking in the purpose God has called you, then everything will make sense. After all life is all about letting God use us in the purpose he called us, like Pvt. Doss, he knew exactly his purpose why he needed to stay in the army, he knew that he don’t need to combat but he must stay because God wants him to be there, to save lives – bring a refreshing help to the wounded. 

Google Image
2. Hold Fast to Your Convinctions. This movie also reminded me about the writings of the Apostle Paul in Hebrews 10:23, he says, Let us hold fast to the confession of our hope without wavering, for he who promised is faithful. Temptations of this world is always one step away from us, sometimes when life becomes tough, we compromise, we opt to take easy routes to gratify what we thought is a need, but later we’ll find out that the exchange is costly, our convinctions. Pvt. Doss, knew exactly his convinctions and for him it does not matter whether people believed him or not, even if he had to face series of misjudgments, trials and mockery, he held fast to his convinctions, he knew that his relationship with God is real and that’s all that matters. His promise to God was a promise he gave to an eternal living God and he stood by it, even if it caused him his reputation and image. God is a faithful God, He honors us, when we honor Him – later on in his army life, Pvt. Doss excellently executed what God has called him for, he not only saved lives but he fulfilled his calling. He gained respect from men and brought glory to the name of God. 

3. God’s power shines through in our weakness. This is not only true in the life of Pvt. Doss, but to many of us. God is the source of our strength, when we welcome His power to work in us, it definitely shines through. Even in the bible history, God uses the most unimaginable, unexpected, unqualified and weak people to do God’s assignments. Our flaws, imperfections, uncontrollable circumstances and limitations are all part of our inate individuality – if we don’t give it to the One who can fix it all for us, we strive. Some people find it hard to accept it, so they hide it, find excuses or resent them. This pride prevents God’s hand to work in us. God is never limited by our limitations, He is all powerful and He can turn our weaknesses to strengths, He have it altogether for us. Pvt. Doss, knew from the very beginning his emotional weakness and the hurt he hid in his heart – that is why he made a promise to God, to never hold a gun, because he knew that he can’t hurt people. This weak side of his, which his co-soldiers call “cowardness” in God’s perspective is “mercy and healing”. They see it as a weakness, but Pvt. Doss mercy to help the wounded and his eagerness to save as many soldiers as he can, was all that they ever need to see to know that God is on their side. Like the morphine he gives to those who are in pain, saving one person after the other, was that relief of care that no one will ever be abandoned, bravery and strength packaged in one, no one could ever have. 

There are so much to learn from this movie, this is not your ordinary war movie. Let me leave it right here. After watching this movie, I may read the book The Conscientious Objector Documentary. 

Congratulations, Mel Gibson and Andrew Garfield for giving your best to make this film. THANK YOU PVT. DESMOND DOSS, for a fulfilled, purposeful and encouraging life you lived! 

Surpises: Bad news turned to Good!

Surpises: Bad news turned to Good!

For I know the plans I have for you says the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Jeremiah 29:11

This blog is a testimony of God’s goodness, protection and guidance over me and my family. 

Today, it’s business as usual, we got a surprising news from our VP regarding our company’s bid over a certain big account. This account, is the same account, I have been working with for almost all of my tenure in the financial industry. Surprisingly, we lost the bid! Another bigger company took over the account, leaving our company with a devastating, disappointing news. 

This loss, could mean a lot specially for corporate employees like us, the stake is too high. It may mean sudden job loss, career change, salary change, position change and etc. 

As our boss continually speaks and explains to us, the “possiblities” and how our company will try to work things out for us, I can hear sighs, I can see brows raising, I can feel the fear in our department’s little room. 

” Ok, any questions?” Our boss asked. A lot of “fearful”, concerned questions were raised and our boss diligently answer each once with grace and patience.

*** 
Confidently, I was not affected by the bad news. Because God has gone ahead of this scene, He knew it would come. And He knew, that I would be the very first one to feel fearful among all my colleagues. Why? I have all the reasons why, I am not as competitive as they are – being in the sales industry, my achievements were not at par as what my colleagues had produced. I would be in the bottom list, definitely! 

When my boss said the criteria for the people they would consider to keep, I know I would not make it to the list, at all. But, I was happy, why? Because even though I was not considerable for anything – God assured me of the things that may come to pass. Last year, the Lord has been very busy preparing me and my husband with so many things, including the planning and executions. 

We have gone to the most “thriftiest” way we can save money, He gave us a house , He brought the desire of going back home, instead. He gave a new sustainable job for my husband, He increased our commission in ways that we can finish all our goals for 2016. And finally we come up to an answer, that hey, I will finish my job this March 2017.

Going back, our account may only last for maybe 2months, maybe at most 6months. It’s not an accident that we happen to conclude the last day I would work in our company. I was spared, I don’t have to suffer through all the stresses of proving myself so that I’ll be kept by the company, I don’t have to rush into the motion of updating my resume, cram and get worried and so on. The Lord gave us the head’s up, trust Him and obey! 

The Lord prepared everything for me! 

And just like that, a bad news turned out to be a confirmation of what God has been doing in our lives! I am so grateful. 

***

I still pray that our company will recover and that my colleagues will all be secured. I am just so thankful to God for all that He has done. 

New Perspective: Gratefulness and Thankfulness

New Perspective: Gratefulness and Thankfulness

It’s January 18, we are almost done with the first month of the new year. The new year comes with a lot of joyful anticipation, expectations, promises, changes and goals. But God points out some character-development and a good-attitude we may want to develop to have a fruitful 2017. 

My biggest revelation this new year, is about being grateful and thankful. 

I remember, one time I asked one of our couple friends, “what are you thankful for 2016?” It took a while before they can utter a word, they thought so deep, they could not remember anything. My husband then asked, is there anything, little or small that you can remember, you can be thankful to God for? 

Then the husband of my friend replied, he said, “we are okay, I mean 2016 was a bit of a struggle, but I guess we are okay”. 

For a second, I thought to myself, when life throws you series of troubles – it is indeed very difficult to find a spark of happiness around. It’s as if we are losing and slowly fading away along with the problems and the struggles. Truth is, life can vary, it can be sometimes difficult, for some it could mean a financial loss, sickness, a promotion never achieved or death of a love one. It can also be a dream that never pursued, a failure, a business failure or a consequence of a mistake. 

In whatever package, it doesn’t matter, troubles and struggles may definitely come. It’s not a matter of what but it’s more of when. 

We all had a fair share of life circumstances. 2014, we lost our dad due to cancer, my husband lost his lolo due to old age, we had 2 series of unemployments and some financial problems. 2015, it’s like the continuation of 2014, consoling our mom during our mourning season, separation and long-distance childcare, 1 unemployment and financial struggle. 2016, was a good year, God restored all that we wanted to pursue, those that we missed, savings goals, dreams, home acquisition, clearer goals and more. 2017, is still uncertain, we have expectations and even before we embark to this year, God already had confirmations of what to expect and we are excited with that. 
Through it all, there is one important thing that God wants us to inhabit in our hearts, it is about “gratefulness”. 

The psalmist David in the book of Psalms, wrote a lot of different songs and prayers that talks about his frustrations, pleads, request, repentance. But he also wrote a couple of verses in different chapters about his gratefulness to God. 
This one, is one of my favorites; 

“I will praise you, LORD, with all my heart; 

I will tell of all the marvelous things you have done. 

I will be filled with joy because of you. 

I will sing praises to your name, O Most High.”

‭‭Psalms‬ ‭9:1-2‬ ‭NLT‬‬

Those words David uttered is coming from a grateful heart. Besides, he wouldn’t be able to write it, if he was not mesmerized by God’s goodness frim tye start. The context of this passage, is coming from David’s plead to God, to help him fight his enemies, but before asking anything – he first acknowledge the Lord and His goodness, the very character of God. He was really grateful. 

I started to ask God to seek my heart, I wanted to know, when was the last time, I sat down and just be thankful for all the blessings He gave? The marvellous things He have done – my life, my family, favors, opportunities, lessons, healthy body, wisdom, strength, friends, relationships and just the opportunity to come in His presence. How many times, have we check our hearts intent when we approach God’s throne? Are we even thankful that we are breathing? That we are not consumed with the troubles of life? 

Sometimes we get too caught up with life miseries, sorrows that we often forget, that we have a Father, who watches over us, whose plans are better, who gives hope and a future. Whose help is always there, that life, no matter how difficult, He has overcome it all for us. 

Like David, my prayer for us, is that we would learn how to cultivate a life of gratefulness and thankfulness. Learning to appreaciate every season in our lives, that we will not give up on ourselves because God never did, and even if there are some struggles and life- circumstances – God is always there so inclined and willing to help and guide us. 

In all things, give God praise, not only for the gifts that He gives, but because we understand that He is the source of all things. Our giver and our Father. Learn to be grateful even in the little, so when the big one comes, we will be more grateful. 🙂 
Be thankful, always! 

Conversations with Our Father: Reminders, Instructions and Assurance 

Conversations with Our Father: Reminders, Instructions and Assurance 

Today, I woke up, with a comforting and re-assuring word from our Father in Heaven, it’s found in the treasury of the Psalms of David. 

It says; 

When I consider the heavens, 

The work of Your fingers,

What is mankind that You are mindful of them?

Human beings that You care for them? 

Psalms 8:3-4

Google Image

When I approached God today, in prayers – at first the bible verse didn’t make any sense at all – I am very familiar with this verse, but as the time of day passes, the more God speaks to my heart. 

***
2 years ago, my siblings and I, lost our dad due to cancer. It was a heart breaking memory and the snippets of the realities of him not being there anymore is really a truth that we have to accept, we are now, fatherless. 

Some say that you cant choose your parents, I believe we are blessed to have loving, caring and nurturing parents. 

My dad, taught us a lot of wonderful life- changing instructions. He is a good father, his desires for us is not only measured by acquiring good education, becoming somebody in the society or to have a decent, good family – it is more spiritual, he wanted us to walk his walk – know Jesus and have a close relationship with him. 

That being said, means we grew up in a conservative, christian home, with defined set of christian rules and integrities. Not all of us understand it, some of my siblings rebelled against daddy, some of us – just followed. 

For us who followed, life at home is easier, but outside has been a struggle. Imagine the choices we have to make, considered our friendships and relationships, our activities and the manner we present ourselves, making sure we obey our parents, because if we dont surely there is a consequence – making us the “un-cool” kids to our peers. 


But most of us, in the family, all in all, had wonderful memories about dad. When it comes to decision makings, we trusted that our dad knows more. Of course, we come to Mom for other stuffs, but not when it is something serious – we have to hear our dad’s sound advise. 

My dad would always give us a heads-up of what to expect. He faithfully waits to hear our stories of success and cheers us up when we fail. I remember him, coaching my brothers when they played basketball, giving me advices about how men are and setting standards, giving us techniques on how to study and many more. 

But my favorite time with him, personally, is when I sit beside him and just talk to him about anything. Our exchange of letters and notes. I’d like to hear his quotable quotes, his sound advises and his wonderful journey in his career, ministry and life. 

***
So as I continue to read the bible today, I found joy in knowing that there are so many things in-store for me today. As I continue to study the proverbs of Solomon, I was instructed by the Lord about 3 things found in the chapter 12 verses 16 to 18; 

1. Humility and Humbleness

2. Self-control and Anger

3. Honesty and truthfulness 

***
Then something striked me, in the absence of my dad, there comes God, Our Father. He is aware of all the things that transpires in my heart, all the thoughts and my ponders, my fear and worries. He cares about how I present myself to the world and my character. He cares about my struggles, my goals and my plans.

Like daddy, God, He is a Father, He wants to know everything that matters to me, because it matters to Him. 

” What is mankind that you are mindful of them?” 

I wanted to understand this verse deeper, so I looked for the meaning of mindful and to my surprise here’s what I found; 

Mindful means 

– aware and conscious about 

– Inclined and willing to help

In essence, God is aware, conscious, inclined and willing to help us. But, He would not meddle with our affairs, unless we invite Him so. Until we sit down in His presence and willingly talk to Him about anything that affects us, and patiently wait for His wisdom and instructions, then He would. 

Of course, everything that matters to us, definitely matters to Him. There are some things that God won’t do for us, unless, we seek help from Him. 

Remember your first day at school? Eventhough, our parents supported us and provided everything we need, it is still us who should go inside and meet our fears and study. He cannot go inside to do the study for us, but, they would willingly sit outside and wait for us until we finish the day. 

God is the same, He would not do the things, He wanted us to do, because it is good for us – we have to face it, do it, climb it, work for it – and He will patiently wait and pick us up, and if we ran afraid He would be there to provide anything and everything for us, to come back up again. 

God, is not just a Supreme being, He is also Our Father and He loves you and me! He is a good Father! 

What do you need today? Be reminded that God is mindful of you today, He loves you! 

https://youtu.be/H0DU9E4G4V4